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 Is this supposed to be a joke?

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Flynn
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PostSubject: Is this supposed to be a joke?   Thu Feb 04, 2016 1:31 pm

Thirty-three notches were scraped into the polished oakwood desk mantle. They gaped the lovely shine in descending order, slanted from left to right. At this rate, Xixas had told himself, he would be conscious to greet another age. The thought drove him to place his head in his hands and allow a sigh to escape his lips that he had been holding since this morning. Xixas sat at the furthest curve of the tower room at his desk next to the painted window with faded designs he never took to restoring. Papers lie sprawled around in a fashion that might once could have been a particular organization. He finished scratching off the splinter from notch number six to widen it to match the others.

Xixas blew out a breath. It was raining outside. It was always raining outside. Not that it bothered him. He loved the rain.


--

"Xixas". A knock on the door which both of them knew was never required. The gentle, lovely female voice continued. "There is somebody here to see you".


--

Xixas craned his head over to frown at the door. The Concuclare royal grounds had been empty for.. How many decades? He had never had a visitor once. If there were somebody present important enough to allow Brielle's permit, it must be Corren or maybe even the King of Heroes himself. However, if Corren were here, he'd have noticed. If it were the King of Sanc, he would have been advised before hand.

There wasn't much use thinking on it. "Who is here, then?".


--

Brielle stuck her head through the doorway and gave him that caring smile. However, this time it was laced with something else.. Humour? She tapped on the wall outside the door and sent her mist to allow the visitor to ascend up the stairs. The Fyre tethers had been lowered to allow them to enter.

"Somebody who says they might be able to help you, Xixas".


Brielle brushed off her silken gown with delicate, gloved hands which she knew and he knew was only an unneeded habit. She was absolutely spotless. Beautiful. It was seemingly unnatural.
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PostSubject: Re: Is this supposed to be a joke?   Fri Feb 05, 2016 9:44 pm

Luteccio stepped inside the room in Alegretto, keen on playing the single jubilee in this brick-hard chit-chat.

-------

Santa chiesa gotica! This is just... Stunning!
The masterpiece-level details... The hidden meaning behind each touch as if it were its own work, even as solo pieces... And not to mention these drapes, as if they were to herald an attempt to flaunt against the likes of Andrea and Michel...
Whoever this king is... He can only be a genio! Brilliante, this is!

...This can only be the clay-work of l'Onnipotente itself!
Shame this castle looks like Beelzebub's basement. What a joke.

It's nice how Jerry (That was his name, right? Jerry?) has a pretty assistant. He must have it pretty good.
...That's all this place has to it, actually. Even the windows look as if a clown had vomited all over them. Hey, they could've called me for the occasion - at least my vomit would've made it look better than how it stands now! Hehe!

Final note before serious (heh) talk: No commenting on the decoration, nor the ragazzo's name. Also, commenting on his assistant. And a crappy joke involving mice to break the ice. Easy-peasy-dizzy-sleazy. Child's cake.


-------

After being able to share nothing with his hosts but a humble-yet-frivolous smile, Luteccio decided to drop sound where sound was due. His colorful wings coiled up behind him as he took a deep breath, the likes of which others use during mind-in-distress scenarios: air in, words out.

...Despite that, he didn't seem nervous at all. Especially considering he had been laid out to speak directly with the leader of the faction that almost completely conquered the world.


-------

He-e-e~y! Long time no see, ziolinno! How's the family? I heard Balbuccio got a pretty good job recently, eh?

...Actually, you aren't my zio at all. See? I bet I got you real good there. Don't trust The Jester - always cheat and search for The Fool straight from the deck. Capire, compagno? Ahaha!
No jokes, though - I'm not that type of big-bad-rig-rat. That's why my legs didn't quit while taking me here!

I'm here to humor you so badly, you won't be able to tell the difference between "ice" and "mice"! It'll be grandioso, sì, sì! The gentlest of calumnies!

And! After you're laughing your seriousness off from every fold present in the vessel of your conscious...
...I'll take that chance to kidnap Cinderella here.

...Heh, see? Bet I got you again. I'd never do something like that, mai! I'm a gentleman, after all.

Your gossip-bee told me some, but I wanna hear it from you, Translucincident.
What boggles your air-thick brains enough to make Princest here let someone like me inside?
You know, the louse just lodged in on some chest hair. And now, they're letting it crawl all the way up to the head. Perché?
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PostSubject: Re: Is this supposed to be a joke?   Tue Feb 09, 2016 1:10 pm

Xixas furrowed his brow and leered as if distastefully analyzing a painting. "You what?". He shifted his weight to the side of his chair and turned towards his whimsical visitor. Xixas ran his hand through his thick, tussled hair. "Did you just call me Cinderella?". Pursing her lips, Brielle tapped her fingertips together in worry. "I believe this young man has announced his intention to kidnap you, Xixas". The Sicarian exhaled with impatience. Not that he had much to be impatient about. "Although he has a point. Why did "princess" let this.. Person in?" He chastised, emphasizing the word at which Brielle blushed, adding colour to her cheeks.

--

~Maybe this was not such a good idea..~. Brielle clapped her palms together softly. "I will grab some refreshments for our guest. It's almost time for tea anyways". She scurried off, careful to keep her steps paced.  

On her way out, Brielle bit her lip as she heard Xixas proclaim:
"You're here to make me laugh? Right. Let's see what you can do, friend".
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PostSubject: Re: Is this supposed to be a joke?   Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:54 am

Per San Francesco! Did he really not understand that humor? Did he really miss the Cinderella and Princest jokes? I bet he's never seen some quality entertainment before in his entire non-existence, ora sus!

This'll be a tough nut to crack open. E qua, I hope it's not filled with leeching-bugs or anything. I hate how they stick to clothing.
But, hey! People call me a professional comedian for a reason! And that reason! Is!
Because I'm pretty dang good. Heh. Heheh.


-------

Playfully rocking his weight back and forth, Luteccio gazed in fascination: as if it was a slug, his sight stuck to the only source of classy-ness in the entirety of Concuclare for all it could. Not a single vocal diversion escaped his mouth until the servant left, leaving the were-to-be Angel one-on-one with the not-so-free ruler. He purposefully ignored the Sicarian's questions, as he felt those didn't need to be answered. His smile persisted carelessly all the way through.

Now that the prelude blacked out, the drama was fit to begin.


-------

Heh. Thanks for not kicking me off the seventh floor like a tax collector on a bad day, Galileso. Sucks how my little prelude didn't fully reach you, eh? But... At least you got the main message, sì!

Little White Butterflies told me a wee-wee bit about your problems. And to them, I say...
...Laughter is the best medicine! As I always say, of course. It's my second best motto. My third is "What comes down goes around, up and over." Cool, hm?

Prepare to board the friend-SHIP, because you're in for the wildest of travesties, Glowy. Say, how about we start with a little anecdote? Should help clear the mood a bit. This, of course, all happened to me while I was travelling to this very mark on the map. Atento, sì!


-------

Luteccio knew: no matter how Xixas viewed his little story, his reaction would be pretty much definite. Almost set in stone, it was.
No matter how poor the fable, the jester knew how the emperor would react. There was very little the Sicarian could do to force a different reaction.
As if the Gods wanted it so, Luteccio's story was sure to fill the ruler, first and foremost, with pride for his kingdom.


------

Alright, alright! Listen up! You'll like this one. It's about some old man whom I've encountered while coming here, yeah?

So, mid-travel, I snuck myself and my curious nose into a deep forest. I would be lying if I said the path to the exit was visible, yeah? Trees were covering everything from the mountain-top to rock-bottom, impeding any possible progress to my little odyssey.

Then, this old guy came up to me. He asked me: "Ay, s'what's y'r b'ssn'ss 'ere, boy? Y'lost 'r som'thin'?".
To that, I replied: "Ale, sì! This forest is really big! And has a crapton of trees! And totally sucks! And a Dryad just winked at me, even though I'm not into that kind of stuff!"

You know what he said?
"Ye, boy. T'damn Dryad's r'lly been gettin' on m'nerves for a long-'s-Hell time. Tell y'what. If y'beat th'crap outta it, I'll 'mediately teleport ya t'the castle, yeh? We got a deal?"

So I beat the crap outta that Dryad.
And now I'm here.

See? See how kind your people are? They brought me here as a favor! Truly, this must be an inspiring tale that'll make your family weep for generations, sì!


Anyways, my anecdote. Hope this is enough to pave the bridge between my speech and your feelings.
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PostSubject: Re: Is this supposed to be a joke?   Fri Feb 12, 2016 1:01 pm

Brielle returned with a lavishly set arrangement of tea crafted from transparent crystal with such clarity, it looked to the point the cups and plates were barely visible, giving the appearance of drink floating in air and biscuits settled on the table. It had only been a few moments since she had left, but she was able to do that and be back to eavesdrop on every word even if unintentionally.

The tea she gathered had been prepared in a unique fashion, allowing the tea grains to adjust flavour and taste to the most pleasant conjecture. Again, she could do that.

Brielle set the platter of tea and biscuits with angelic grace on Xixas's desk which divided him and his guest. She took her own cup of tea, far smaller than the rest, and settled herself in a rickety wooden chair on the right flank of Xixas's desk.

"Please, enjoy!".


---

After finishing his fourteenth yawn of the afternoon, Xixas Averall had decided how to react. "You don't really understand the situation, do you". It wasn't a question. "Brielle, you've always been so good to me and you have been so perfect in your duties. However, I cannot begin to imagine what brought you to drag this person here. It seems like something Corren would do".

At the name mentioned, Brielle's cheeks visibly flushed and she hid her face behind sipping her tea.

"Excuse me, what is your name again? Thank you very much for your time but I am a busy man with other functions that need fine tuning. I'm sure your.. Services.. Are exceptional from wherever you hail from, but I cannot find myself to come to appreciate whatever it is you are trying to accomplish. Brielle will show you out". It was such a colourless lie. After this person left, Xixas would go back to scraping notches into his desk with a shard of glass for the next eight hours until the sun had fallen enough to merit sleep, then he would awake and perform the same pattern all over again until the day came he could finally fade into oblivion and die.
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PostSubject: Re: Is this supposed to be a joke?   Sat Feb 13, 2016 8:04 pm

Caccaroli! This guy doesn't seem fazed at all. Must be some real tough play-making going on. I mean... Eh. He is a ruler and all. This was to be expected.
...Well! Not sure what else I can do. At least, I'll have some tea. Or... Try and make it oppressive.

But I don't wish to waste his time further.


-------

Twirling his hair, Luteccio directed some words at both the king and the servant, all before they felt compelled to kick him out by force.

-------

Ale! No emotion at all from my sweet tear-jerker? Not a tear? Not a laugh? Not a cackle? Not a handshake?
...Heh! Even still! These walls aren't the limit of my gameboard. Besides, I use special cheating devices to roll the dice three times and still making it legal.
If you want me out, you'll have me out. Of course, the only way I would've left this castle without saying a word would be next to Maid-denim, here. See? We've barely even dropped curse words, and you already know me from the tip, to the toe, to the hill of San Joe! Haha!

At least, lemme finish this tea. I'll step out once this horrid plant-liquid evaporates in my viscera, sì!
Let's get going, Beatriz!


-------

Taking frequent stops to sip the tea, little by little, Luteccio made his way to the outside of the castle gates.
Once outside, the thought-train hit him as if his lair were to lie under its rails.

Did he really do enough?

So much more could've been done.
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