Comedy Session

Guldfaxe and Fallhöfnir were in the town's market, selling hunt spoils. After selling the last piece of raw capivara meat, they parked their caravan next to the market, not realizing it was blocking the main entrance. They were enjoying some of the spoils they kept for themselves.
"Aye, papa. Cooked well this time", Guldfaxe said, merrily enjoying the meal.
"Hah, ha, ha! Thanks, Goldy. I put in a special ingredient this time", Fall said, provocative.

Vergil was flying, but was then distracted by the caravan, which meant he ran into the wall, and fell down, "Oww. Who put this wall here?"

He then looked at Guldfaxe, "You! Who are you!"

(Non-Personality ftw)

"Hm? Pardon me, mister. Are you lost?", Guldfaxe asked, turning his head towards Vergil.
"Nah, Guldfaxe. He's probably one of those illusions trying to lure you into a dirty trap. Don't talk to him. Unless he suddenly turns into a pretty girl; then I'd be glad to cover the whole scene", Fall said.

(OOC: Yep, dirty in THAT way.)

(OOh you.)

"I'm no illusion, i'm just me." He said, Rubbing his head.

"I see. Justmii, would you mind telling us what brings you here", Guldfaxe said, in a blank tone.
"Prob'bly he's just here to sell us Poker cards illegally. Hack our decks to make 'em all A of Hearts. Sorry, but that's not fair", Fallhöfnir said, with an even blanker expression.

"Why would I sell you Poker Cards?" He said, smiling, being so much less serious then usual.

"I dunno. Ask papa", Guldfaxe said.
"Ah, well, there was this angel who tried to sell me some poker cards over a wild boar we hunted but the wild boar was much more expensive so I didn't accept the trade but he kept insisting and then went for the caravan with all of his...", Fallhöfnir telled, without pausing at any time.

"All of his Poker Cards?" He pulled out some poker cards, "Like these?"

"Aye. Those are it. Wait, could it be...
You are the one who sold them to me, weren't you? They exploded in my face once I tried to sauté 'em for my internationally famous 'Jackpot' stew", Fallhöfnir said.
"'ey, papa. Calm down", Guldfaxe said to Fall.

"Are you sure?" He said, smiling, "I just found these on the ground... in fact...." He took out a little wooden box, full of poker cards, "I found this!"

"Ah, nice. I may get back to trying that stew sometime", Fall said.
"Just don't forget to grill the cards instead of sautéing 'em before adding them in", Guldfaxe said.

"Cooking cards?" He asked, sighing, " I also cut the fella, he tried attacking me, it didn't work." He laughed a bit when saying this.

"Maybe that guy should've tried sautéing you. I heard Angel Stew is delicious - a chicken-ish flavor with the texture of pork meat...", Guldfaxe said, deep in thoughts.
"Aye, aye. And add a bit of Slug-Caelator slime... Maybe it will taste like apricot pie", Fall said, completely ignoring the angel.

He cleared his throat and said, "I'll pretend you're not pretending to cook me." He put his hand on his blade, " I don't want to hurt you."

"Hah, ha, ha! Chill, my friend. We were just joking. Say, would you be interested in some pork meat? We have some", Guldfaxe said.
"And we sell 'em cheap", Fall said, having mounted a pork meat stand while they weren't looking.

"I dunno, Maybe, Can I see the meat first?" He said, intending on evaluating said meat.

"Aye, right... here!", Fall said, taking out the huge wild boar they hunted down and putting it on the table.
"And we even make discounts to people with intestinal problems", Guldfaxe said.

" 'Fraid I don't have Inteestinal Problems." He said, looking at the meat and drawing his sword, poking the boar, "How much?"

"Aye! This piece of pork meat can be yours for the measly price of... 130 Octoroks! Unbelievable, 'sn't it?!", Guldfaxe said.
"And if you purchase now, you get the pointy thingies that he was holding in his mouth with such strength, we had to cut them off", Fall said, showing to the angel the boar's horns.

"Those are his horns, which I don't wish to buy." He dug the money out of his pocket, "More then I usually pay but..." He put his hand out with the money.

"But they come for free! Don't you wante 'em?", Guldfaxe said.
"Pst! 'ey, Guldfaxe. The storage is full - we can't afford to take these horns there! You have to make him take the horns, no matter what", Fall whispered to Guldfaxe.

"Fine, I'll take the horns, only if you each taste the meat to prove it's good!"

"Aye, sir! Let's go, papa. Let's eat a small fraction of this meat", Guldfaxe said.
As they both ate one piece of the meat, mushrooms spouted from their heads and their eyes morphed into literal diamonds.
"Perfectly safe", they both stated.

He laughed a bit, and said, "I dunno, I don't think I want Mushrooms on my head." He said, laughing even harder at their Diamond hands.

"Aww, come on!", they said, dropping their mushrooms and breaking the diamond coating around their eyes as they shouted.
"Hey, we can enchant it! That way, it will not have any added effects, and it will be tastier! And all that for the same price! Whaddaya say?", Guldfaxe asked.